One of my Biggest Tests of Faith

When I opened my mission call, my eyes grew wide and I broke down into tears.

"You are assigned to labor in the Massachusetts Boston Mission."

Because I put ALL over my papers that I HAD to stay in Utah....

When I decided to go on a mission, I was nervous and excited like anyone is when they begin the paperwork process. While in the process, I realized I was on the state insurance (Utah Medicaid) as my only coverage. Neither of my parents had health insurance at the time, so I had no option but to have this and take charge of it. While working on my papers, it dawned on me that Medicaid is a state-funded, meaning it was only for this state. After a quick phone call, I asked, "If I were to leave Utah, would I be covered?" With a short and abrupt "No." 

That was it. I had to serve in Utah. It was hard for me to accept at first, but since I still felt the need to serve a mission, I went ahead with the process.

Now, fast forward to another part of the story: I was also applying for state disability benefits, during which I had to fill out a lot of paperwork for that. I also went to court, with my mom next to me, right in front of the judge to go over the paperwork. That hearing concluded and the paperwork was submitted.

Weeks passed with doctor's visits and finishing the paperwork process. ALL over it, I put, highlighted and in bold wherever there was a space asking for specific accommodations, "I HAVE to stay in Utah for my medical insurance." Then finally! I was able to submit my paperwork and everyone put in their guess, "Where in the world of Utah...????" I laughed about it because I could go somewhere like Provo where I was already living, South Salt Lake where I was raised, Temple Square or St George. 

In fact, since I knew I was going to Utah, my call came in, but I felt no rush to open it. After all, I already knew (somewhat) where I was going... 

So I finished midterms and cleaning that week and eventually headed home with my call to open it.

Now, remember how I went to court during all the paperwork process? Rewind to the moment--a week before my call arrived--to when I got a huge packet in the mail. I got approved for Disability! I didn't really know what this meant, but I later found out this included what I'll bring up in a bit...

There I was in our living room, family gathered around with a couple laptops open as well. Everyone put their guess where in Utah I was going. It sure seemed silly but we tried to keep it as exciting as Utah could be. 

Letter opener beneath the sealing. I pulled it out. Here we go Utah.

Dear Sister Roy...you have been called as a missionary of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the..." I smacked the call right up to my mouth as my eyes bulged out. I then hauled over and the tears came as my brother said, "Well, I don't think she's going to Salt Lake."

I had to take a moment to talk through my tears, "You have been assigned to the Massachusetts Boston Mission..."

WE ALL SCREAMED and I HAD NEVER CRIED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!!!! The spirit burned in me from head to toe and I felt this was the place I needed to go. 

We talked about Boston and what being there would mean. Then, the question came up, how would I be covered medically? Because my medical bills are NOT cheap!! #cfirl

The following weeks were filled with many phone calls--with my stake president, bishop, mission nurse, mission president and his wife, and back and forth between the head of the mission department and then the head of legal department of the church. I even had my para-legal call me back again and again during the process, asking sharply with a thick trill in her voice, "Is this RRRachel?...This is (her name), I am calling to tell you..." then telling me many rules which I was fully aware of as I heard her rant on.

NO ONE knew what to do. "Somehow" they mis-looked over my papers and did not see my bolded words everywhere that I had to stay in Utah. For the first time in history, a missionary was going out with a chronic, life-threatening condition covered only by State--funded insurance. 

A couple months passed. People kept telling and reminding me that a mission is only an assignment--I could easily be reassigned to Utah. But let me tell you this did not feel right to me--not just because I wanted to go to Boston but because I somehow knew this was the right place for me to go. I was assured that somehow this would all work out. 

Back to my Disability approval--the state department for them were the only ones we hadn't called by now. My mom dialed their phone number and I listened carefully next to her. There she was nodding and all of the sudden, things sounded good. Really good. 

And her phone was beeping as someone was trying to call through during this conversation.

Before we knew it we screamed!! We got the answer--the state department would easily transfer my insurance to Massachusetts!!! It was one of the sweetest moments of my life!!

Fast forward, as my mom called the missed call right after we hung up. It was our stake president, and we shared with him the news we finally got!!

His reply: "Well good! Because I just got off the phone with the head of the mission department, and we were just about to re-assign you to Utah."

(If you want a funny side note, my paralegal called right after then, asking sharply with the same thick trill in her voice that I dreaded, "Is this RRRachel??? This is (her name). I am calling to tell you..." I really felt Satan hated me right then and wanted to discourage me as she ranted about how I wasn't supposed to leave and there were all these rules, even though she didn't have the full picture like we did then.)

Guys, if this wasn't all a miracle, I don't know what is.

I had filed the papers. I even went to court. There were lots of phone calls and unknown answers.

God knew where I needed to be, and He knew how to get me there. He was the ONLY one who had the answers--the answers that trumped the government, church authorities and leaders with their best guesses, and what all seemed impossible.

This was seriously one of the biggest tests of faith I have ever had, even to this day. 

And it made going to Boston so.much.sweeter...and that was only the beginning of something I never knew I'd treasure so much. 

Now, this mission is so special to me as any RM's mission is important to them. There are no words to fully meet the very, very funny moments, feeling scorching summer heat and then seeing the leaves bloom in New England autumn leaves, the winter storms and the mini hurricanes, the illnesses magnified by my CF and trials fought, the moments where the spirit was so sweet, learning how to conquer fear of sharing and inviting to the point there was little fear, seeing people come closer to Christ and their Heavenly Parents--seeing their joy and seeing them change, and the profoundly sacred experiences.

I've summed up in the past what I've learned on my mission, but this right here I will expand a little more to some of the direct lessons learned, taken from my "list journal." (Some are quotes given by others.)

• Life can be hard, but it's even harder when you don't acknowledge/put time for the Lord and His gospel in your life.
• "Consecration is the only surrender that's also a victory."-Neil A Maxwell
• Zion is not a place but rather a way of life.
• Your companion comes first
• Every person has their faults, but you can choose to outweigh them with their goodness and strengths. Focus in on their positive traits and build them up.
• Do appreciations. Let your companion know every day what you appreciated about them that day, and you will bond closer.
• "You are braver than you believe, smarter than you think, and stronger than you seem."-A.A. Milne
• There are miracles we don't see. 
• People have the ability to choose
• Give your all, but then know that you're giving your all, and that's all the Lord expects
• Sacrifice on behalf of those you love is of infinite worth and value. It is important to learn how, when, and what to sacrifice for one another.
• Some things can wait.
• It. Takes. Time.
• What can make the difference between performing music and making it powerful? Worshipping through music.
• Heavenly Father doesn't look at things pertaining to time (i.e. our own time frame) but rather looks at things pertaining to quality.
• People will often not care about what you have to teach/won't listen unless you show them you genuinely love and care for them.
• Sometimes you may find yourself wanting to and trying to change someone, even when you don't believe you are. It all comes down to only they can change themselves, and it's through the Savior's Atonement that truly changes them when they allow it to.
• Find joy in work, not necessarily joy in success.
• "Why take the easy route when you can make a memory?"-President Packard
• "I hope we don't do much correcting. I hope we do more encouraging."-President Packard
• "Everyone has the same problem--that is to figure out how to be happy with the life we're given."
• "PAMITT-People Are More Important than Things or Time."
• "Work like everything depends on you and every prayer depends on the Lord."-President Packard
• "If you have enough faith to motivate you to do good, then you have enough faith..."-President Packard
• "A humble person doesn't just look up for answers. They look sideways and in every direction all around them for answers."-President Packard
• "The Holy Ghost feels like chocolate melting in your mouth."-a young girl named Phoebe in one of my areas
• "Come to the edge. Allow Him to push, and fly." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland at our Mission Meeting
• Christ is always there and is always mindful of you.

Thoughts on Self-Compassion

You know those times where life throws much more at you than you think you could handle?

I had one of those weeks a few weeks ago. I won't go into too much detail, there were some health complications, testing, and results. For the most part they were good but needed further testing that led to some stress. I'll leave it there. I was also facing some BIG, heavier-mattered thoughts that started from some revelation I received earlier that I needed to work on, which I was doing. After this, I also had a priesthood blessing that week with all that was on my mind about my questioned health complications and these big thoughts and big changes. Well, it turns out that blessing gave some very clear-cut direction--so much that it was THRILLING but also SO intimidating! I was shown that God (has) BIG plans for me--the kind that are so exciting and yet frightening at the same time because they seem impossible with my current circumstances. I also had some other things that threw me off-guard that were a little hurtful by other people, homework, work, ya dee ya da.

Did I mention this all happened in a week? Ha! Yeah, it was a lot to take in. Trust me.

You can imagine what I wanted to do after all this when I finally got the chance.
I practically ran to the temple. (It's up the street from me.)
Because I needed answers and direction. I wanted to know reasons. There was so much on my mind I really didn't know what to do with myself.

And after finally going to the Celestial Room (a very sacred part of our temple that's completely quiet and beautiful where people go to feel peace and pray and ponder. Imagine if God had a living room--that's what it looks and feels like.) I sat there. And I sat some more. I prayed and prayed some more.
And you know what the answer was I got?

I needed to demonstrate self-compassion.

That's it? I thought. What about answers? Reasons? Directions on how I could fulfill these big plans God had lined up for me?

Yet somehow it made sense. Right there and then I could feel the Lord's love wrapped around me. I could feel His compassion and realized I needed to feel it for myself.

I realized how much happened that week. I realized I was doing my best. I needed to accept that it's okay for not all answers and directions to come right when we want it. It comes with time as we do our best and accept that. I thought about what self-compassion means, and here are some thoughts:

It's...
-Kindness
-Empathy
-Patience
-Tenderness
-Thoughtfulness
-Courage
-Congruence and harmony

It's not, however...
-Entitlement to what is selfish or unwholesome
-Indulgence
-Self-Esteem
-Self-Pity

We can each demonstrate self-compassion. It's okay to not have all answers and direction when we feel we need it. It's okay to allow yourself to feel loved and accepted by yourself. You can demonstrate patience and tenderness to your own soul--even your soul created by Someone much greater who has a plan for you. Trust in that. Know you're doing your best, so that's what matters. Give yourself a hug (figuratively speaking.) Take time to be still. Take time to accept you are enough and that you are loved. Do what you love. Find that joy.

Hospital Hacks

For all my CFers out there (as well as anyone who may be in the hospital more frequently than others, with some exceptions): I figured it was time to make this post since I have had people comment and ask about some of my discoveries when it's come time for a "tune-up."

Because let's be real--as positive as we try to be while in the joint, it's not easy. Perhaps you're like me when it comes to trying to find new things to do, ways to keep safe, to cope, or just plain have some fun? (Trust me when it comes to that--I'm starting to be known as the girl with the "party room" or the one who does things that are out-of-the-ordinary.

Here's a list I've come up with. Please keep in mind that I am aware everybody's condition is different--I know what it's like be there ill--ill to the point where you are under quarantine and un-allowed to leave your room or have little energy to do much at first. This is a list based off of some of my experiences that anyone can pick and choose from based on their condition and needs.

To keep safe: 

1. (This tip was from my good Cyster Somer who many of us know): Sanitize everything when you are admitted into a new room. Sure, the room gets cleaned when a patient leaves--but you never know how deep it's cleaned. Somer advised me to wipe all handles, the sofa, the chairs, the bed frame--everything. It never hurts to do a little extra!

2. Which also brings me to putting a sign outside your door and asking for people to wash their hands--not just santitize--before they enter.

3.  Take the stairs as often as possible/when you are able. You may wonder why so here it is--
Less people take the stairs, meaning less germs are there than in the elevators. Plus, your lungs are pushed to work a little harder, meaning higher pfts (not to mention wearing a mask makes them work even harder.) I have a rule for myself that I always take the stairs if I am physically able, and I feel like it always helps my numbers go up and I am less exposed to all the germs!

To cope:

1. I feel like most CFers know this one, but it's to do everything to make yourself feel "at home." I love to bring in my quotes I always have hanging up on my bedroom wall above my bed. I bring my own pillow and my bed comforter to make it more comfortable and add some color to the room. I also bring forms of media such as books or DVDs. Bring projects to work on, whether they be paintings and crafts, something to build or improve--I even brought my keyboard during one of my admissions, which helped to fiddle around on the keys and have some live music at my fingertips. This is what sets our rooms apart, so have fun with it!!
****Also, this includes bringing some of your own food from home. I would bring some food I knew the hospital wouldn't have and have my parents bring left overs at times. It made a difference!

2. Spend time outside. (If you are able.)  I know time in between treatments is limited, so squeeze in any chance you can get! The fresh air works wonders.

3. Be creative!! I couldn't emphasize this enough! This last admission, I decided to bring my hammock that I recently got with me. It was initially planned to try to take place of my bed if it was still robotic like before (one thing I cannot stand is the bed moving all the time! Try having one leg above the other or one hip sideways or your legs above your head haha). Well, I did everything I could to try to find a way to hang up my hammock inside, but it didn't work too well (haha see the picture below). With that not working, I found a courtyard outside with all these trees where I could set it up! I was seriously in heaven! Even though I would still need to bring my IV bag with me, "hanging out" outside, reading a book, away from it all was just what I needed at times!!

                   I didn't get a picture taken while at the hospital in the hammock, but this gives you an idea how it felt.

4. Also, with being creative, I know how it is to get so sick of the hospital food. I know it's not ideal to "cook" in the hospital, but if you want to there is a way. With this in mind, Find ways to be creative with your meals. If you want to change things up, bring food from home that you think would go well with some of the food in the cafeteria. For instance, try bringing some frozen pasta from home, then go to the salad bar and add in some fresh mozzarella, chicken, and spinach.  Then have everything heated up in the nurse's station's microwave. Haha I finally figured out this was a solution towards the end of my stay, and it was the closest thing I had to a home-cooked meal at that time.

The salad bar can also have some great options in the mornings that aren't available at other times in the day. At the U of U, they have so many fresh berries in the morning. I love to grab a bowl or a plate full (guys I really love fresh berries. It's a good problem to have, right?) and would put them on pancakes in the morning, in a salad (with poppyseed dressing from home), or in ice cream for dessert. That's only one example but there are ways to change things up...and make them healthier!

5. Stay active. Take walks when you can. Be sure to exercise. Along with being creative, if you need workout ideas, see if the hospital has a yoga mat and if not then bring one. Resistance bands work well, as well as doing exercises with a chair like tricep dips or step ups.

6. Find your "quiet spot", even if it's not ideal. The hospital can be a noisy, busy place. I remember this last time how crazy my first couple days were. To add to it, I wasn't allowed to leave my room the first few days and I know many are quarantined. Every single kind of practitioner or therapist you can imagine came in non-stop. Literally, if I picked up a book, someone would come in. If I turned on a movie once they left, someone else would. Requesting breaks didn't work so well then since there were so many people. You can guess where I finally figured out nobody would bother me if I just needed a break--yeah, in the shower. I know that's not ideal and it can sound gross but it was the place I could get, and it worked! Haha :p If you are allowed to go outside, I highly recommend finding a place out there--and I again emphasize to bring a hammock if you can!

7. Bring thank you cards with you. There is something that is therapeutic about being able to write out simple notes to people, and it helps you appreciate people's acts of kindness even more. During this last stay, I was so appreciative of my doctor who brought me a loaf of whole wheat bread since it's what I craved, the man who bough our whole unit each our own pizza (which was the best kind in the valley), and those who were just kind. I was glad I had those cards on hand to scribble out quick notes, and they also made their day. I feel like the very thoughtful people don't get told enough how appreciated they are! (If you want to know of a good place to get some, Target always has a darling selection in the $1 area.)


Last but not least, have fun! (as well as you can ;) )

1. If you are like me and love to have people over, Think of your room as the party room!  Have things available for when people come over. You could bring fun games--all from board games to card games to everything in between like "Speak Out" that'll lift everyone's spirits through competition and laughter.

2. Have your own "marathons." Make it a challenge to watch your favorite movies or finish a whole series.

3. Watch your favorite sports games--take advantage of having cable TV!! When my dad was over, we had a good time watching the Warriors play the Jazz.

4. Find small things around to make you laugh or smile. For instance, I remember seeing hospital signs in my room--like the "Call if you are at risk of falling" when there was a lady--looking perfectly healthy and put together in the hospital--reaching her hand out to an attractive male nurse--to have her "pull her up when she was falling" with a large smile on her face and twinkling eyes. Yeah yeah woman I see what you did there. ;)
See what I mean? Look for little things and you may get an extra laugh.

Now, what tips do you have to make stays easier? I'd like to know! (Really though, for future reference, so let me know!)

2017

2017 was quite the year.

It was the year when:
-I got the flu TWICE (which in fact I started out the year with fighting off the first type of flu I caught), with a couple other nasty viruses in between each flu. The second flu 5 months after the first landed me in the hospital for a tune-up. That tune-up was a rough two weeks for me physically, mentally, and emotionally, and did not go well as I hoped.
-Not to mention it took me 3 months to physically recover from my two-week hospital stay (6 months if you count the blood thinners to treat the blood clots I developed.)
-I had some weird dates, letdowns, and some awful heartbreaks--I mean some of these guys were ruthless--which at times made it difficult for me to believe that there were still good guys out there.
-Confusion while just plain trying to figure life out.
-There were no exotic trips or vacations, no dating relationships, or typical "life events" that many have the privilege of experiencing and are often shown on social media (which I am honestly so happy for those who get to experience these blessings because they should be celebrated. Everything has its own time and season.)

Now, you're probably thinking I would go on about the hardships of this year. If so, you are wrong. Even though it was not the easiest of years, here's the plot twist...

I may not have had the "typical year," but this year was still so sweet. I thought about what stood out the most that made this year memorable. There were not many "big" moments that could be easily documented, and the hard times could have overshadowed what could have been considered "small" or even "insignificant" occurrences.

Let me tell you, though, that if 2017 taught/reminded me anything, it would be that:

The small things can add up to be some of the richest blessings and memories.

Because even though there was a lot of pain, heartbreak, and uncertainty, the "little" moments made this year amazing.

Some of these "little" moments, even victories, included:
-Taking chances to get back into what I had not done in a while.
-Being accepted into an internship position I never would have dreamed of, and then seeing lives literally be saved as we helped individuals change their lifestyles through eating better, exercising, and managing stress.
-Seeing the temple right from the window during every internship meeting.
-Holding one of my best friends Emily's newborn and seeing him grow up.
-Meeting one of my heroes--Stephanie Nielsen--and getting a big hug from her after hearing her speak, and then later running into her at the Creamery up the street from my place. I also ran into another one of my heroes Al Fox Carraway on the way to my internship several months later and we had a nice short chat.
-Seeing my sister return home from her mission.
-Buying my first hammock and sleeping in it under the stars in Moab, surrounded by new friends.
-Finishing all my physiology courses.
-Moving into a house with my best friends.
-Having my best friend travel with me to the hospital, bags packed and all, when I had the flu and could feel an admission about to happen, and then staying by my side through it all until my parents could come.
-Being able to take a full breath in a while after ending up in the hospital from the flu, thanks to my medications and treatments.
-Bringing my hammock outside the hospital to a courtyard--with my IV bag and all--to take a rest from pain, stress, and uncertainty.
-Having my family and friends join me for the CF Great Strides Walk/Run (and being given so much free Chick-Fil-A afterwards.)
-Having both my arms regain their ability to feel and move and several weeks after I was afraid I would never be able to use them again.
-Dismissing fear and trying new things I always wanted to--like jumping into a large body of water off a rope swing, and finally trying new talents I always wanted to.
-Noticing improvement with those hidden talents after a lot of work.
-Having divine revelation connect me, through a series of events, to one of the General Authorities and his family, as his General Conference talk gave me so much peace, strength, and perspective this year. I was then able to learn about and be strengthened even more by their story.
-Meeting one of my long-lost cousins while we were driving during a girls' trip to Moab.
-Sleeping straight under the stars in Moab--no tent, only a tarp, after a rainstorm haha!
-Being in one of the LARGEST paint fights with kids whose parents have/had cancer.
-Spending a whole week with those kids, as they changed my life forever.
-Seeing and hearing OneRepublic play I Lived in person, which was on my bucket list. (Watch their music video and you will understand what I mean.)
-Being offered an on-campus job position to start up a personal training program for faculty and staff. It was a very challenging time, but oh I am so grateful for it!!
-Having all sorts of letters and thank you notes come in from one area of Utah to where I was while collecting them for Las Vegas after the shooting
-Reading sincere appreciation in a letter of thanks in return from the LVPD's Sheriff.
-Laughing up a STORM with immediate and extended family around the Thanksgiving table and during game times--enough to burn off several pounds worth!!
-Having my church ward's Christmas party come together that I was in charge of.
-Being able to reflect on my Savior's influence in my life during this Christmas season.

 

It would be unjust to call these "little" things small, because they helped me grow. I was able to not only learn how to set boundaries and find patience in healing during hard times, but I was able learn more about myself and those around me. I was able to see how Christ's Atonement holds the world together when people feel their world is crumbling. Spending time in nature, following promptings, and finding ways to find joy in the journey allowed each day to be rich. The hard times were outweighed by what was savored, and I look forward to what I can savor next year.

At this point, I have no clue (besides the fact I will graduate debt-free in April) what will come about this year. There's been times where I try to make plans, but then they are stopped, and it has been nerve-racking. However, as one of my favorite talks reminded me, I can look at it with the attitude of "Come What May and Love It." Through any darkness or uncertainty, happiness can be found if we  look for it and chase it. I don't want a year to go by where I fail to see the silver linings, the flowers where there are thorns, and hear music when there is rain. There is always good in store, so this is what I say to 2018:

Bring it.

What If...?

Everyone--a BIG announcement was given this Thursday at the NACFC (the North American Cystic Fibrosis Conference). Drumroll please...

The average life expectancy for CF has reached FORTY-SEVEN.

Forty-seven guys. That's HUGE!! Last year it was at 36. 

What does this mean? It means medicines and new treatments are continually coming out thanks to research.

It means babies who are born have great resources to keep them healthy and alive--and not only alive but able to LIVE. It means their parents not needing to be told to not expect them to be able to go to and graduate from college, serve missions, get married, have children, you name it.

It means growing up with better treatments, less hospitalizations, less surgeries, more weight gain and less Gastrointestinal tubes, and continual research.

The question that has admittedly taken over my mind is, "What if..." As in, "What happens if I don't live to a certain age? What if I don't have the chance to be married, to have a family of my own? And if I am able to, what if I won't have many years to spend with them in this life? What if my health declines rapidly down the road?..."

The questions could go on, but after thinking more about the advancements and prolonged average life-expectancy, it makes me wonder...

"What if I live longer? What if I do get the chance to be married and have a family of my own? What if I do get more time to spend with them here? What if my health continues to stay strong?"

With all this being said, the fight is not over. This is only an average life-expectancy, meaning it's up to us with CF to put in our part to work hard. The treatments, the vigorous work outs, the time put aside to refill, organize, and take our medications, the meal planning for nutrients and calories, the night feedings for some, clinic visits, hospitalizations...it will all be worth it. In fact, it is worth it.

I think back to a couple nights ago where I met a senior couple at an etiquette dinner. I learned a great deal from them. This man looked me in the eyes afterwards, and said firmly, "Miracles come. Don't give up." No, he did not know about my life with CF, and in fact this comment seemed out of place but left an impact. I thought more about this, and how this could also pertain to medical advancements--an eventual cure, and I want to remember his words. 

What do you fight for? Who do you fight for? Who do you live for?

It will all be worth it, and it IS worth it.

Twenty-Five

Recently I turned 25, which honestly feels a little surreal.

With life being so crazy this semester (#senioryear), I haven't been able to write in a little while, let alone reflect out loud on how reaching another year has affected me. As I stand back and think about what God has given me, I see how I have been richly blessed. No, life doesn't get easier, but it is still always good.

During this last LDS General Conference, the talk Has the Day of Miracles Ceased? Was one that stood out to me. This happened to be given just hours before the tragedy that happened in Las Vegas. In here Elder Hallstrom spoke about what miracles are and brought up the question, "Has the Day of Miracles Ceased?...A critical question to ponder is “Where do we place our faith?” Is our faith focused on simply wanting to be relieved of pain and suffering, or is it firmly centered on God the Father and His holy plan and in Jesus the Christ and His Atonement? Faith in the Father and the Son allows us to understand and accept Their will as we prepare for eternity.

Today I testify of miracles. Being a child of God is a miracle. Receiving a body in His image and likeness is a miracle. The gift of a Savior is a miracle. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a miracle.  The potential for eternal life is a miracle...We are living a miracle, and further miracles lie ahead." 

This talk had me thinking about the miracles I at times overlook and take for granted. It can be so easy to be caught up in the day-to-day matters and hear what happens in the world to the point it becomes easy to overlook the miracles that are always there.

That statement We are living a miracle had me think about how I truly am blessed for every breath I take. Sure, 25 doesn't sound old, but when it's in comparison to the "average life-expectancy" for CF, it feels older.  I've thought about all the tragedies that have been flashing on every news website and channel. My heart has felt shattered when I have thought about everyone who has been suffering and the losses people have faced. With just turning 25 and hearing about all that's been happening, I want to make the most of this year--not out of fear--but instead out of love and gratitude. There will always be things I can work on, but I know I can actively change while remembering the miracles that were talked about--the miracles we will ALWAYS have. After all, "We are LIVING a miracle, and further miracles lie ahead." 

Okay just LOOK at those mountains and the fall colors!!

Selfie with my good friend Kim

Back To School--Nutrition tips

Okay, first of all, my apologies that it's been forever since I've written on here!

Remember how I once mentioned I would post more with wellness tips? I just wrote up another one--this time on nutrition. Here are my tips to make fitting in healthy meals and snacks/other tips a lot easier each day...

1. Pack up snacks and meals the night before

With the school year starting again, it can be hard to not know how to pack your lunches or snacks, let alone how to have them be as healthy as possible. I know while at college, I swear almost every student I see either 1. eats out for lunch or 2. does not eat(/forgets they should eat) 3. Only eats snack foods. With my big appetite, my CF causing me to need more nutrients, and small budget, this is all a no-go. I've found that packing the night before makes it so much easier. (Time after time again I have roommates or guests ask me what I'm making for dinner--to respond I'm packing a lunch.) With that being said, I found a way to make packing a lot easier. I am also big about trying to keep up with nutrients through easy, convenient ways. I know there's a lot of ways you can go about packing lunches, but this has worked best for me and I oftentimes get asked where to find them...

Note: I was NOT asked by this brand to promote these products--this is solely personally discovering it and using it because it's helped packing lunches be a lot easier and better.

One day while browsing the magical world of Target, I came across this brand Systema. (I have also seen them at places like TJMaxx and I know they would also be online.) I tried these out for the first time a couple semesters ago and I have loved them ever since! I am being 100% honest when I say I use them ALL the time for about everything!! 

Note that this parfait one isn't Systema brand, but it was at Target and is awesome! (fruit and yogurt in the bottom, granola on top. I am also going to use it for milk and cereal to bring breakfast on the go.)

Here is an idea of what to put inside one:

Chicken Cesar salad and cantaloupe (I had the dressing in its own container) and also had croutons with it and a granola bar on the side.

What is so great about these is they have their own compartments for everything--no more Ziploc bags!! You can put your veggies in there with its own place for dip, you can have your own salad dressing containers, and so on. They have everything from salad containers to put your toppings on the top of the lid (i.e. fruit, cheese, nuts, whatever you desire) so the rest of the salad doesn't get soggy, a sandwich lunchbox to put your bread and meat in one compartment and your tomatoes or avocado in another so the whole sandwich doesn't get soggy when you pack it...the ideas are limitless. 

Take my word for it when I say these have helped a buttload to cut back on Ziploc baggies and make packing lunches a lot easier/a lot more flexible. I pack my food the night before and bring it to my classes and/or work the next day.

2. Bring a water bottle. Always.
Don't like water? There are options.

Those who know me well know I always have to carry around water with me. Needless to say it's easier to drink more when you have it right there in front of you.

While working at my internship, one of the most common complaints I heard from those who drink more sugared beverages (i.e. soda), they don't like drinking water, because it has no taste. I personally love just drinking water, but I know that people have different preferences and cravings. I know some people like the Crystallite packets, but here is another option...

For some people, this may be a helpful option to be motivated to drink more water--a fruit infuser water bottle which has a separate compartment for whichever fruit or herbs you decide to put in but allows the pulp to diffuse into the water. It tastes great! I know this may not be necessary for everyone, but it is an idea if you want to find a way to make it easier to drink more water--plus to get some extra vitamins in while you're drinking.

3. (Homemade) freezer meals 
Don't have time to cook during the week? Try preparing meals one day a week (Sunday works best for me) that you can freeze beforehand. Then, all you have to do is pop the meal in the microwave or conventional oven. Some of my favorite recipes include:
Breakfast burritos
Slow Cooker mango chicken
and the variety of Stir Fry's you can do
(Here is a list of foods you can freeze so they last longer!

If YOU have any ideas that you swear by to make food prep easier and staying healthier in the school year, comment below or send them over! I'd love to hear more!



P.S. I promise I'll be better about writing on here more often!! (Even though I always say that, I really do mean it.)