Self-Freeing Thoughts

Thoughts-->Feelings-->Actions-->Who you become

Here are some self-freeing thoughts that I have either learned from other people/sources or thought of and have helped me/still help me with my rough edges and imperfect glory. Trust me when I say these gold nuggets of advice still apply. Some I learned recently and have been thinking about more often. When I remember these, they sure help me feel eased from any thoughts or worries that hold me down. I want to share these with you because of how golden they are.

"Do I know this in thought, or do I know this in practice?" I heard this recently in my favorite podcast, the Alison Show. It's to say that if I am hearing something do I think, "Oh I already know this" or "Yes, this is something I am practicing/want to practice more."

-Enough is a decision, not an amount.

When I heard this, once again, on the Alison Show, it hit me hard. Oftentimes I don't feel my efforts are enough. Being a goal-setter, I catch myself feeling impatient at times, wanting to see results and when they don't come as planned, it can be hard. This has been the case with job hunting and feeling like I haven't submitted enough applications while yet feeling exhausted. This is definitely the case with my workouts at times or treatments when I am ill. Lately I've been working on deciding that at the end of the day, what I did was enough. Results may not be immediate but they do carry you forward. 

Expectations are synonymous with this, too. Surely, to trust someone is one thing, but to have expectations for how they will be or what they will do sets us up for seeking too much control. It can be so easy to live with your own ideals for how your life will look and when things don't go as planned, it can throw you in a surprise. I think these ideals and expetations are one of the most damaging things that can happen to any relationship. I've seen it for others and I've been in positions where I did not meet the the ideals of guys-I-dated, and it still hurts at times. When you get to really know a person and decide to love the person as they are--with their goodness, then the things that are less-significant and ideal don't matter as much. Of course, I've had to work on this at times, with making sure I don't put people in a box with my own expectations for how things will be and rather, giving them the freedom to live and thrive as they wish, and then celebrating that with them. Of course, knowing what our values are is so important, but once we see imperfect people who are perfect enough to help us grow and truly try to lift us up, we make the decision to love them instead of constantly searching for the ways they don't meet enough of the ideal we had in mind.

Last but not least, decide to acknowledge and remember that you are enough.

Wherever you are, be all there.
Simplify.

-Invest in people who invest in you

-Acceptance is freeing. Suffering comes from not accepting things in the present moment.

-F.E.A.R.--False Evidence Appearing Real

-The secret to adulthood? Nobody knows what they are doing. This is a great piece of wisdom I heard on the Alison Show. She explained how even when people appear to know what they are doing, they really don't, so we are not alone when we have no clue what we are doing.

You don't know their story. Remember this when you judge.

You have the power to choose.--This statement became a conclusion to realize I have the power to choose to act, as agency is a gift. This can apply to small and large decisions. I oftentimes get caught up in being indecisive--even over the dumbest things like which ice cream flavor on the menu. By realizing that to choose is a power I can put into use, it is freeing. I also believe this applies to realizing we have the power to choose how to react or what thoughts will enter or leave our minds.

Perfect does not exist. There. Set high goals and visions but don't get caught up when life doesn't go as planned.

When you feel overwhelmed, you are in a scarcity mentality. You may feel there is not much you can do because you feel depleted. By keeping an open heart and mind, you can search for resources--even the smallest ones--that are around you to help you not feel stuck and in distress. Examples of resources/aids may include prayer, friends or a therapist to talk to, the ability to take a break, the ability to go exercise to release some endorphins, or simply a piece of paper and pen to write what's on your mind to allow problem solving. The options are limitless, but you can think of what's within your closest reach that will help you solve the problem and help you reach your goals.

Own your struggles, even if somebody else would "have it worse." Own how it's hard for you, and that's ok if they seem less significant than someone else's battles because of course people out there face incomparable hardships. Then--use your sorrow or hurt to connect with others who are hurting--because hurt is hurt, and love is what binds and heals regardless. Don't leave somebody aside because they are going through what seems larger than what you are and you feel awkward and unable to relate. Nobody can truly understand what another is going through (other than Christ) but you can use the pain you've experienced to empathize, listen, and love because you will know how everybody needs that.

It is healthy and essential to be your own person. When you become too attached (enmeshed) it leads to personification and jealousy. 

Meaning you begin to take what the other person does too personally or become jealous at anything that gets in the way between you two--anything from another person to their hobby to the show they watch.

"But I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind."-Thomas S Monson

"Gratitude is one of the best ways to help you live in the present moment."

"You may not be able to change the world, but you can change the world of one person."