"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you..."

I have been meaning to make this post for a while, and now I finally got to it. I was hesitant about writing this post because this experience was so special to me, but I again think there may be something someone reading may need, so here it goes...

You know those clear summer nights that enable you to see the ocean of stars laid out above you? And the feeling you have as you feel closer to heaven itself? It's almost as if gravity is pulling you in, as your mind becomes more at ease. You may even find yourself talking to God through a prayer in your heart or receive guidance from Him, feeling apart from the rest of the world.

Many people have this experience out in nature, as I most certainly have. I love the feeling of being surrounded by the Lord's creations. When there are times of stress or worry, it's nice to have a break from it all. More than anything, it makes me feel closer to God, almost as if I were spending one-on-one time with Him.

Now, at first you may wonder how (or even think, "Rachel, that's a little weird--you may have a slight obsession...") or even "Well there's a plot twist" so you can go ahead and think what you think right now when I say...

This kind of experience I just described---took place very unexpectedly at a concert.

Yes, at the very Coldplay concert I wrote about earlier...

And yes, it hit me hard out of the blue. It had to be one of the strongest experiences I have ever had. It all started right as their song Yellow came on. Honestly, some of the song lyrics hadn't made much sense to me. I liked the song, but it never struck me deeply like some of their others. While in the stands at the arena as Coldplay transitioned from one song to another (which they do amazingly), the guitar solo from the beginning of the song came up right as the crowd going wild for this familiar song for many. The wristbands we wore started to change color to yellow, illuminating the entire stadium. As soon as Chris Martin began singing, they temporarily turned off until the chorus. Once it did, the planned effect made all of the wristbands filling the blacked stands twinkle on and off. Surely, it felt as if there were a night sky all around with countless stars.

As soon as Chris began singing, "Look at the stars--look how they shine for you." I was not expecting it, but the spirit overcame me and I listened in more carefully. Somehow this song began to take on a new meaning. "...And everything that you do...yeah they were all yellow."

and then later on..."You know I love you so...You know I love you so...So then I took my turn, oh what a thing to have done, yeah they were all yellow...I drew a line...I drew a line for you...oh what a thing to do..."

At this point, you are probably wondering, "Ok, so this is a sweet romantic song." But somehow what may have been originally written about a romance took on a new meaning. 

As the song continued while hearing these lyrics, seeing all of these lights where I was reminded that Christ created all things on this earth, even every star. He created them for not only me, but for you, for all of us. President Uchtdorf said it beautifully: "And while we may look at the vast expanse of the universe and say, “What is man in comparison to the glory of creation?” God Himself said we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory—the purpose for this magnificent universe—is to save and exalt mankind."

And while in these stands and hearing these lyrics, I felt it, and knew it to be true!! The stars that "shine for you" shine because He created them for you! He wants us to acknowledge His embracing and encompassing love and the wonders He provides in our lives. I felt of His agony for "what a thing (for Him) to do!--for both the pain He feels as He has "drawn lines," knowing the pain and confusion some of His direction would cause me, even in emotional wrecks or on the floor at times with no energy, but knowing what is best as He and Heavenly Father see the everything, and what will bring us the greatest joy. Even more though, what a "thing (for Him) to do--His greatest act of love through His Atonement.

Then more towards the end of the song, the following lines seemed to be sung in past tense, almost knocking me off my feet:

"Do you know, for you I bled myself dry?

For you I bled myself dry."

Those two sentences somehow carried a past context this time. I had chills run down my spine as the spirit testified of that my Savior bled Himself to allow me to return to His presence. He would do anything for that. And what's even greater is He did not just do that for me, but for you, and everyone around you, and everyone and every creature that lives and has ever lived. Now think about it, and I mean really soak it in--and if you have a difficult time feeling it, you can develop this personal relationship with the Savior as you try, even through the smallest efforts, even if it takes patience and time. He is our Advocate beside our very Heavenly Father. Yes, each of us are only a part of His plan and his vast creations. At the same time, though, as you recognize this, and as you feel close to Him, you will discover how much you matter to Him.

"It's true...look how they shine for you, look how they shine.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things that you do..."

I am not saying this song was written with this meaning or context, but what I am saying is the spirit spoke so strongly to me through this song. It shows how if we have an open heart and mind, we can be taught in a variety of circumstances in whichever way speaks to us personally. God knew I love Coldplay, so I am sure He knew He could speak to me this way. 

Our Heavenly Father is Real. Our Savior is Real. Everything He created and did is Real. We can become close to them and rely on them. I know they are fully aware of all we do. They are aware of our hopes and desires, even those those which we may want to give up on at times when seeing no hope at the time, but they won't give up on them because they won't give up on us. There is so much beauty that surrounds us. He can "open our eyes" to behold all that was created out of infinite love.

This photo I had never seen before just happened to show up on my Pinterest dashboard a few days ago.

Here are the full lyrics for the song Yellow:

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And everything you do,

Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,

I wrote a song for you,

And all the things you do,

And it was called "Yellow".

So then I took my turn,

Oh what a thing to have done,

And it was all yellow.

Your skin,

Oh yeah your skin and bones,

Turn into

Something beautiful,

Do you know,

You know I love you so,

You know I love you so.

I swam across,

I jumped across for you,

Oh what a thing to do.

'Cause you were all yellow,

I drew a line,

I drew a line for you,

Oh what a thing to do,

And it was all yellow.

Your skin,

Oh yeah your skin and bones,

Turn into

Something beautiful,

Do you know,

For you I'd bleed myself dry,

For you I'd bleed myself dry.

It's true,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine for you,

Look how they shine.

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And all the things that you do.

P.S. I encourage you to read this talk called "You Matter to Him"!! For those of you who don't know who this "President Uchtdorf" is, he is the second counselor in the Presidency for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and he has a thick accent because he is from Germany :) This talk he gave is what seemed to go hand-in-hand with this experience I had. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/you-matter-to-him?lang=eng

A Day in the Life with CF

Here I am, vest strapped on and nebulizer strapped in my mouth, still trying to get used to this morning schedule, knowing I should wake up a little earlier. Getting in the habit of going to bed earlier may be a struggle for a while...

Every CF patient has their own conditions and a customized routine. Here is a typical day's schedule in my life looks like. The purpose of this post is not to draw pity to myself but simply to educate what it's like to live with CF and show that when you have those days when you wake up, wondering how in the world you can do what's ahead, you can if you try. Some days' schedules vary, but the treatment and medication times are just about the same each time.

6:00: wake up
6:20: morning routine:
      -Vest treatment (while multi-tasking with scripture study.) Medications: Albuterol, HyperSal, Pulmozyme, Duolera & huff coughs every 5 minutes--50 minutes
      -Every other month: Cayston afterwards--15 minutes with setup, taking the medication, and cleaning the pieces. (This is when I will for sure need to wake up earlier.)
      -7:15: Get ready for exercise
      -7:20 Leave the house for gym.
      -7:30-8:30 Exercise--Alternate days between cardio and weight lifting
      -8:45-9:00--Breakfast
      -9:00-9:45 Get ready for the day
      -9:45--Leave for class
10:00-12:00 Classes (Physiology, Career Strategies, Intro to Family Processes)
12:00-5:00--Lunch, work, TA help, study groups, phone calls to refill meds, and homework time
(When on Cayston--12:00-12:20 for assembling, taking it, disassembling and cleaning the pieces.)
5:00-5:45:(It varies on the day--sometimes quicker or at a different time)--Dinner prep. (Treatment at this time when I am on Cayston).
6:00: Dinner (as much as I love to cook--thank goodness for leftovers made from Sunday, as well as Crockpot meals, to take away time some nights from cooking)
7:00: FHE on Monday's, otherwise HW, sometimes review sessions
8:00-8:40: Vest treatment (while multi-tasking with homework assignments.) Medications: Albuterol, HyperSal, and Duolera, with huff coughs in-between (40 minutes)
9:00: Sterilize pieces and take nightly meds
9:30: Pack lunch for next day. Take time to dwindle down
10:00: Finish getting ready for bed
10:30 (Usually 11:00): Sleep

Treatments=keep lungs clear to prevent infections
Food=not only for nutrition but to also maintain a healthy weight for fighting infections when they come, since they cost our bodies more calories.
Exercise=keep lungs clear and strengthen our lung function. Building muscles and endurance allows us to better fight off infections, as physical activity keeps our immune systems more up to speed.
Medications=vitamins that our bodies cannot absorb, pancreatic enzymes since our pancreas does not produce the enzymes needed to break down food, and inhalation medications to take with every treatment.

A lot of times "the routine" can make me hit my pillow hard in the evening. I would say that as my schedule is full every day with hours to stay well as well, it makes me want to make each hour count and live each day to its fullest. Many of these mornings I feel as if I wake up with blood shot eyes, wondering how in the world I will be able to do another treatment or workout that morning or complete what the day has ahead. It teaches me that when you do not think you can do hard things, you realize you may have completed either the same routine or hard things before, giving hope that you can complete what may feel frustrating, tiring, or impossible. No matter what, though, CF makes me better appreciate my abilities and all the blessings the Lord provides. CF helps us understand how each day--each breath--is gift, as we become more appreciative of all we have.

Coldplay: Check!!

Last Wednesday I experienced a dream I waited YEARS for! I had one of the most incredible, breathtaking nights of my life!! Coldplay was a dream come true!!

I met up with my sibs Josh and Rebecca and friend Maddie in Salt Lake. Alessia Cara opened, and she was incredible! She was only 18 and carried so much confidence about her. She was very motivational! I could have sworn some of what she said in-between songs was directed right at me, as I have felt like a mess at times while pulling myself back together after a recent tough break up. She also introduced her song "scars to your beautiful" by talking about how the world's nonsense and noise tries to make us feel like we are not good enough, instead of seeing our own individual true beauty. Her words, "I remind every human being in here that there is all of that nonsense and all of that noise...I think they should change their perspective, but you don't need to change you!' Whew that was a powerful moment!!

Eventually her time was done and we waited for the tech to set up for Coldplay. Then, at 9 pm the lights turned off and the crowd became wild!! Good grief I already began to cry!! Everyone was given wristbands that changed colors according to the frequency waves, and they began to flash red on and off to the beat. Background voices rang out of fans from all around the world. Then, Coldplay was introduced, and the deafening screams cried as Chris Martin came out singing "A Headful of Dreams!" Josh and I sang every word at the top of our lungs and I cried literal tears of joy because they are honestly my favorite band!

The entire concert was full of Chris Martin dancing all over and having the time of his life! Our wristbands changed colors to the songs, an array of all colors and sets of hues illuminating the arena. There were songs where lasers and lights rapidly moved everywhere to the point you could not see much and could have a seizure at any moment from all the hype. Then there were songs where Chris played his piano or guitar to some of the most soul-piercing songs that connected the entire audience, allowing us to sing the choruses to some of the best--the Scientist, Yellow...and eventually the classics "God Put a Smile Upon Your Face" and "Green Eyes" as the band sang literally up in the stands in the middle of the audience.

There were times when I lost it--these songs have gotten me through some of life's deepest, most emotional wounds and excruciating physical pain and frustrations. There were those that created spiritual experiences, reminding me all God has given me, filling every ounce of me with a delicate, sweet and powerful amount of gratitude. There were those that were so fun to run to and be excited about life all these years, as Coldplay had their rapid lights everywhere with large bursts of fire coming from the stage with confetti and stars falling from the ceiling and large, bright and bold balloons falling and bouncing around. I will say every emotion was felt--I cried, even heavy sobs of tears, especially to Yellow--during which I had one of the most spiritual awakenings, opening my mind to how that song must have always had a doctrinal interpretation I never realized), Trouble--as I had not heard it since my break up and once again every word pierced my soul--this time with the regrets that haunted me. I began to cry at Fix You as Chris Martin lied sprawled flat against the stage, but not as many tears came as I was in shock that I was living that moment of hearing this song and seeing Chris singing it that way brought back how I felt at times in my life. I began to cry at Amazing Day, as it is so beautiful and reminded me of the beautiful gifts and days the Lord has given me--and still has in store. Then there was Everglow, reminding me of the people I have lost in this life but are not ended forever as they remain eternal as their light will "everglow". And later--the last song, as I knew they would, the tears would not stop. It was the song that provided healing through every one of its words through some of life's most recent trying times--even straight from tendonitis in my wrist for months straight to hip problems with physical therapy to a series of illnesses every couple weeks to then every couple days which landed me in the hospital for two weeks, then to knee problems once again preventing me from running and landed me with another physical therapist, to fracturing my foot that took 5 months to heal to then hip problems because the hip from that same leg became weak, to having a hernia and then to this one break up I mentioned that has been one of the hardest, emotional, trying times--all of this within the last year and a half (right after getting back from my mission)--a time where life doesn't seem to give me a break. And even though there have been other sources of healing, there was this song where its words have slipped in the cracks for light to escape in. For encouragement to come in--that hope that all will. get. better. and to. not give up.

Up&Up--a song which may just seem pleasant and nice to many--has done wonders for me more than anyone other than God may ever know. When there seems to be no reason to "keep going, keep hoping, keep trying and keep believing," there is a power that can be found within us as we can "believe in love" and know that "Heaven is cheering us on yesterday, today, and forever." (Thanks Elder Holland.) That love, as Coldplay sings about, conquers all and is the greatest power to exist the greatest love came from the greatest sacrifice to ever exist.

As you can tell, as dramatic as I just made everything sound, this night was a transformative experience. It was the best concert and I wish I could live it all over again!

Bucket list item: Go to a Coldplay Concert: CHECK.

What a breathtaking night!!

A Little About Me

Hello again

I know that at least for the first while there will be mostly friends and family visiting here, but for anyone who doesn't know me (or even if you know me and want to get to know me better), here is a little bit about me...

I served a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Boston, Massachusetts,  and it changed my life forever. That is why you will hear me talk a bit about my mission.

I also recently returned from a study abroad in London, where we also traveled to Paris and Scotland. I had especially always dreamed of going to London and Paris for years. That adventure also changed my life. I have hopes for traveling around the States more and then maybe to a few more countries when the right time comes.

I have a chronic, life-threatening condition called Cystic Fibrosis, so I do my best to make the most of my life. Every breath is something I cherish.

I love: 

fall...with the arrange of colors, the crisp weather, decorations, fun things to do, Halloween, sweaters and boots to get cozied up in, and recipes to make (and the smell of the apartment when there is a lot of baking that happens). Hence I think this is a good reason I served my mission in New England.

naps

laughter

ice cream

fruit

cooking and baking new recipes

good music (particularly Coldplay, the Beatles, and John Mayer to name a few)

running

dancing

exploring my artistic side

wearing hats and comfortable clothing

going out and having random adventures

being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and sharing the gospel

First Post

Hey, this is Rach. I used to blog but then lost the habit, and now I am back at it. (Thank you in advance for being patient with me.)

I think the truth is it all comes down to getting over the fear of opening myself up--my story, experiences, struggles, and the thoughts running through my head...
But then I realized that perhaps my experiences or what I learn over the days may touch someone and allow connections to be created. I continually learn how God gives us experiences, no matter where we may be, to connect at a deeper level, learn from each other, and even answer prayers. Perhaps He has given me some experiences to help some readers, even if it's just one. I hope to touch anyone, even if it's through this blog.

If there is anything you want to share, please feel free to do so! Know that YOU can make a difference in influencing someone with what you have, even if it's what you find.

Fair warning--you may find me rambling at times and writing about the ordinary. I am not perfect--I am who I am as I live this life that is complicated and painful at times and confusing and ordinary and not-so-ordinary and still wonderful. But let's be honest--I'm sure most can relate. There are days where there isn't anything too exciting--but I feel that beauty can be found through the simple things and the ordinary life. There are also days and times that fill me with so much excitement that I want to share it all! God is SO good, ladies and gents! It's all simply great, I simply am who I am, so that's why I say, I am "Simply Rach."

I chose this picture as a start because the beach+sunshine+ice cream sundaes+floppy hats+England=life!