Overall, I think back to a line in a blessing given before I left for London, a few days before I was to leave, as I was terrified I wouldn't be able to go when I broke my foot. Much of what was said didn't make much sense, but Oh! There was so much that was said to prepare me for not only the study abroad, but the rest of the year. It was so beautiful and it was filled with revelation and wonder, I feel this line seems to well-conclude this year, "Everything we expect ends up being different, and far better and greater than we can fathom, as we remain obedient and serve by doing the greatest good we can." (Close quote.)
I learned in London how to give back a little more, paying it forward, as I was able to miraculously travel around England, Paris, and Scotland with hardly any pain. Fast forward to a few months later, I faced one of the hardest, most trying times of my life. Surely, this counsel, Everything we expect ends up being different...was as true as it could be. I had dreams that I felt were crushed. I felt so alone and confused and hurt, with little motivation to do the things I knew I needed to do. However, I remained obedient by doing the things I knew I had to do to take care of my health. And, more than anything, I knew that one of the only ways I could fully heal was to extend my care and help to others. So, I took the baby steps, and before I knew it I was submerged into what I hadn't seen myself doing--helping coordinate the university's food drive, extending myself through an online internship to people who were suffering, planning more service events for next year...
Sure, at times I felt I was going overboard and it took some time to figure out the right pace. After seeing the service rendered, it felt rewarding to see others have their basic needs met. I felt I was helping hasten the Lord's work. The pain was still there inside me, and I realized it would take time to heal, but these experiences shaped me to have more open eyes and a more open heart, with a drive and willingness to go to work to help Heavenly Father's sons and daughters.
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| I know the certificates make us look like we were showing off, but it's the only one I have of all of the Food Drive Team. Not to mention they were for goofy things--such as mine for "Most likely to jump in a pile of leaves." |
"Everything ends up being different, and far better..." I still cannot fully concur to this, as I haven't seen all the ways things are "far better," than they were before, as I felt I had it all before, but then lost it. Yet, I can say this--I most likely wouldn't have been involved in what I was doing had I not been through that very tough experience. As I have been assured things will be "far better," this is where faith comes in, as I have had to hold onto it. As President Monson once declared to the world, "The future is as bright as your faith."
I also discovered this became a year of healing--from experiences in my past and as hardships happened, all with the hospital tune-up at the beginning of the year to the opportunities that lied ahead. The Lord was so merciful to provide the experiences and people in my life to help me feel set free, living a rich life. I felt He wanted me to live each day to its fullest, and while doing so, I was transformed a little more. The Atonement has become more real, as I have come closer to the Savior. Healing has come through having fun (and many spontaneous dance parties), serving others and being moved to show even more compassion and reach out to my fullest capacity, from my experiences in the hospital to breaking one of my metatarsals in my foot, and going through the Holocaust exhibit in London and the 9/11 Memorial Museum in New York City. I can say that from all that I saw, witnessed, and felt, I did the greatest good I could, and I am determined to continue to do so. And then, as I continue in faith, I know that things will be "Far greater than I can fathom."
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