I had one of those weeks a few weeks ago. I won't go into too much detail, there were some health complications, testing, and results. For the most part they were good but needed further testing that led to some stress. I'll leave it there. I was also facing some BIG, heavier-mattered thoughts that started from some revelation I received earlier that I needed to work on, which I was doing. After this, I also had a priesthood blessing that week with all that was on my mind about my questioned health complications and these big thoughts and big changes. Well, it turns out that blessing gave some very clear-cut direction--so much that it was THRILLING but also SO intimidating! I was shown that God (has) BIG plans for me--the kind that are so exciting and yet frightening at the same time because they seem impossible with my current circumstances. I also had some other things that threw me off-guard that were a little hurtful by other people, homework, work, ya dee ya da.
Did I mention this all happened in a week? Ha! Yeah, it was a lot to take in. Trust me.
You can imagine what I wanted to do after all this when I finally got the chance.
I practically ran to the temple. (It's up the street from me.)
Because I needed answers and direction. I wanted to know reasons. There was so much on my mind I really didn't know what to do with myself.
And after finally going to the Celestial Room (a very sacred part of our temple that's completely quiet and beautiful where people go to feel peace and pray and ponder. Imagine if God had a living room--that's what it looks and feels like.) I sat there. And I sat some more. I prayed and prayed some more.
And you know what the answer was I got?
I needed to demonstrate self-compassion.
That's it? I thought. What about answers? Reasons? Directions on how I could fulfill these big plans God had lined up for me?
Yet somehow it made sense. Right there and then I could feel the Lord's love wrapped around me. I could feel His compassion and realized I needed to feel it for myself.
I realized how much happened that week. I realized I was doing my best. I needed to accept that it's okay for not all answers and directions to come right when we want it. It comes with time as we do our best and accept that. I thought about what self-compassion means, and here are some thoughts:
It's...
-Kindness
-Empathy
-Patience
-Tenderness
-Thoughtfulness
-Courage
-Congruence and harmony
It's not, however...
-Entitlement to what is selfish or unwholesome
-Indulgence
-Self-Esteem
-Self-Pity
We can each demonstrate self-compassion. It's okay to not have all answers and direction when we feel we need it. It's okay to allow yourself to feel loved and accepted by yourself. You can demonstrate patience and tenderness to your own soul--even your soul created by Someone much greater who has a plan for you. Trust in that. Know you're doing your best, so that's what matters. Give yourself a hug (figuratively speaking.) Take time to be still. Take time to accept you are enough and that you are loved. Do what you love. Find that joy.
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