New Eyes

(Read previous blog post before this one to catch up)

Eyes are fascinating to me.

Eyes can show what's in a person's soul and where their heart is. They tell stories, experiences, fears,  passions, faith, and understanding. It's fascinating to me that they have that power.

Lately, some of my scripture studies have focused on the concept of eyes. In fact, it was interesting how one Sunday after my studies, one of the main topics that sacrament meeting (the LDS church's main hour of worship service focused around the sacrament) was focused on how Christ teaches us to have our eyes open to what's there in front of us. The question was asked,

"What are our eyes open to, and what are they blind to?"

I think oftentimes it can be easy to think of this idea of keeping eyes open to what we could easily be blind to as a way to stay safe or look for red flags in any given situation. This is definitely applicable, but I think it can mean so much more. In the scriptures and in any uplifting story that someone shares, oftentimes there is a positive, new grand perspective that the person gains. They begin to see all the good that's in front of them that they were blind to. They better understand their world and the people around them, and how to be a positive influence so they can build where they are. They begin to see what is there in front of them that can help them reach their desired destination.

When I was "crowned" to be second attendant recently for Days of 47, I was more than thrilled for whatever was going to come, but I was not sure what to expect. When I were thrown into the work as we went around serving and speaking, I found it difficult to understand how to adjust to a slight change in lifestyle. Sometimes I didn't feel I fit in well wearing a sash and tiara wherever we went, with many eyes on us, meeting people wherever we went. I was grateful to be in this position but let's be honest--at times I would have felt more comfortable wearing Nikes and sweats and not having to worry about doing my hair. Sometimes it still feels weird wearing the crown, and in fact on my first day wearing it for a service project, the sun was bright and I kept thinking it was a pair of sunglasses on my head, to then realize I couldn't pull it down to block the sun from my eyes. 

With all this--feeling uncomfortable at times being the center of attention and trying to act princess-like when I in fact feel clumsy, I had to remind myself what the previous royalty taught us--it's not about us--it's about representing Jesus Christ and bringing people closer to Him wherever we go as we serve and bear our testimonies. The time spent has already required some sacrifice, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

With that being said, I've been studying my scriptures and praying more intently on how to make the most of this experience wherever I go. My studies on having new eyes has been to better understand how this could happen. I was even promised in a recent priesthood blessing I would be able to see others through the Lord's eyes. I wanted it to click and come easier. I wasn't sure why there seemed to be an awkward gap between what I felt and how I wanted to connect with people I met.

After several events of trying to make sense of it all, I have finally started to feel it. During our first parade, I felt so much love for the participants we met beforehand. When the parade began and I sat with Lauren and Heidi at the back of a convertible, I looked into people's faces while smiling and waving as they smiled and waved back. I wanted to meet each person and get to know their story. As we have gone around to the different Daughters of Utah Pioneer events, I have met the cutest ladies who could merely be seen as older women, when in fact their faith, kindness, light-heartedness and acceptance with their position in life and their trials shone through. We've already met children, adults of various ages, and by in all outstanding people. 

Heidi and I were able to meet the most darling group of girls before the South Jordan Summerfest Parade

We also get to meet darling ladies like these wherever we go. Some decide to dress as pioneers to represent their heritage because they love them so much.

Sometimes it seems like our eyes are naturally closed off to what they can see. I'm being reminded (because this truly feels like another mission), that through a lot of effort, prayer, and trying to live in meekness by turning ourselves to the Lord, He can make a lot more of us than we could ever be on our own.

I may still be a person who is not entirely sure what she is doing, but I am coming to love this role more and more. I still feel uncomfortable at times going everywhere in a crown and sash, but it allows me to stretch beyond my comfort zone and go with new eyes to look beyond myself--beyond my own imperfections to help people feel and know how special they are. I love being able to speak about trials my pioneer ancestors have faced, trials my own family has faced while growing up, and how I continually have to overcome hardships from Cystic Fibrosis. I want to prove to them that they too can overcome hard things and be great examples and leaders like my own family members such as my grandparents were, as I share their stories and how they helped me. I love the effort it takes to become closer to God and see what He can make of me. 

This life isn't just about our own journey, but about helping each other out. I think that by refreshing our vision and looking through a new and different lens, we can see a lot grander things than we could on our own.